Get a yoga mat

Sometimes living can have a way of bringing you down. It happens. Shit happens. And even - yes, even the lions and the mountains and the duracell bunnies - even the strongest of us can feel the weight. For example ;) Take one woman with sleep deprivation, add a demanding adorable infant, a super-hyper charismatic energetic dog and the responsibilities that you accumulate just by being part of this great cosmos, and what do you get? Weariness. Lowered resilience. Fatigue. A permanently aching right shoulder. 

Connecting the dots Snoopy style ;) 

If you haven't even the energy to nod your head in recognition of this common human condition that I've just pictured for you by tweaking the electrical impulses of your brain, don't sweat ;) Here's a couple of things to draw on when you're in just such a state...

Get a yoga mat. 
I love my yoga mat, it's beautiful. It's a dark red colour that just screams of earthiness and groundedness (a new word - I know!). It has been with me since 2008 when I completed my yoga teacher training in the beautiful Sivananda ashram in Tyrol. Every time I see it my brain automatically shifts to calming mode. There was a time - pre motherhood - when I used to carefully and lovingly roll it up after every use and put it back neatly in the corner - back in its  own special corner. Nowadays that just takes way too much time and it is permanently unfurled in the chill-out room of the house. This means that at any opportune moment - a five minute nap by Baby Alannah or a 15 minute take-over of all responsibilities by my beloved - I can enter the chill-out room, lie on the mat in savasana (relaxation or corpse pose) or sit in lotus pose (or whatever sitting pose is easy at that particular time) with eyes closed and transform my mind and body to a stress free state. Sweet. And oh so fundamental for a balanced mind. 

Lotus peace

Make a chill-out corner.
See above. This has to be a place where there is no domestic intrusion - no clutter, no mess, no hint of the un-necessary. If you don't have a room, then make a corner do the job. This is the space where there is little or no conversation, no nonsense talk and no stress. Only peace. This is the place where you can lie down on your yoga mat or sit in your favourite chair. This shall be known as the 'just be me' zone. If you have a place like this outdoors, even sweeter.

Breathe. 
Lie on your mat, in your chill-out room, or sit in the space that is the best energy space for you - outside can be amazing (see above). Think sun kissing your face or starry night above, or if you;re lucky enough think boat on the water. Close your eyes first. Become aware of your breathe. Focus on this alone. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat. If your mind wanders, bring it back to the breath. Say the words out loud if you need to, or just mentally repeat in your head if you're back on the commuter train. Inhale deeply. Make the exhalation longer. Deeper. Longer. See? Do this anywhere and everywhere. If you have a chill-out place and a yoga mat, great. If not, I've found this to be a really effective breathing relaxation technique for anywhere - from standing washing the dishes to feeding the dog. Or cleaning up after the dog. And sometimes there can be a lot of cleaning up after the dog. See previous blogposts about the family dog - Holly.

Look up at the night-time sky.
Okay, so this can be difficult in Ireland at times. But when the stars do appear through the  heavy cloud mat, they shine brightest in our Atlantic corner. See those stars? You are made of the dust of stars, all of which were once connected together in some form at the beginning of this time and space as we know it.  All born together in some spectacular awakening explosion. How lovely that I get to sing a nursery rhyme about stars every time I am singing Baby Alannah to sleep....twinkle twinkle little star... While you're watching the stars, breathe. See above. 

Give thanks for being a player in this vast universe.
Even if you don't feel it, say it. Say it while you're watching the glorious night-time sky, say it as a shooting star plays tricks with your eyes and your mind; say it as you follow your breath; say it as you stand at the sink; say it as you sing twinkle twinkle little star for the thousandth time; say it on your mat in your quiet chill-out space. Say it and you feel it. And then every cell within you feels it. It's a warm feeling that is probably the human equivalent of plugging ourselves back into the mother network to recharge. 

Give yourself a big, fat, unconditional and generous hug.
Do this as you stare up into the night-time sky and watch the stars that are millions of light years away. Stand straight and tall and strong - think mountain, graceful, strong, defiant - and raise your arms up wide to the side and then bring 'em in slow and give yourself one hell of a hug. Don't feel weird about it. Not only are you gifting your shoulders the stretch that they need after the daily toil; not only are you releasing stress that has accumulated in your neck; not only are you making use of your own amazingly constructed and useful arms - not only all this...but, as well as all this you are hugging a great work of art, the product of millions of years of star crashing and galactic explosions, and an expression of the vast and great and awesome universe itself. Now don't you think you deserve to be hugged? If you have someone beside you give them a hug too. It's just as nice for them too as it is for you ;) 

Take the time to watch it all.
Now that you've hugged yourself and maybe someone/something else (Holly the dog loves hugs too), take a few minutes to sit back and wonder at it all. Close your eyes if you have to. Picture you sitting/standing/lying where you are and just see yourself as part of it all. Part of all this wonder and awesomeness. Part of it all, connected.  And all the time your breath is the thing that keeps you connected. And I bet with all that thinking about all that awesomeness you'd completely forgotten all about the breath...on your yoga mat, in your chill-out place, outside, watching the stars, connecting...

And see? You didn't have to spend one penny to do it...except of course if you had to buy the yoga mat...

Be kind to yourself, see the amazing, be the amazing, breathe it all in, stay connected. And once that's all done you can get back to being the awesome person that you need to be, that you want to be and that you always dreamed of being. 

Pregnancy yoga – a beginner’s experience

Me and yogi bear 

This article was published in Yoga Therapy Ireland's Winter 2013 issue (Issue No. 56); this is the unabridged version and probably one just for the ladies, although the men might learn something too ;) 

Last December – just in time for Christmas – we found out that I was pregnant. Thus began the journey through nine months of pregnancy, to the moment of delivery of Baby Alannah Marie.

As I look back now, the nine months seem to have passed in the blink of an eye, although there were times when I felt I would be pregnant forever and I was impatient for the birth to come. But growing a baby is a very intricate process and it’s not something to be rushed! The whole pregnancy experience for me though was amazingly smooth - no back pain, no SPD or swelling, no restricted movement – except of course in the last four weeks when sitting anywhere comfortably becomes a challenge in itself (get a birthing ball – it will transform your life!). Other glamorous features that seem to be unavoidable for most women are piles and varicose veins, and the increased pressure on the pelvic floor. There were times during the last few weeks when I would get crippling darting pains in my groin area – and that’s when you realize that the pressure of a baby’s head bearing down on that ‘hammock’ of muscle is something that’s going to need some attention to ensure recovery of its function once all that pressure comes off – think pelvic floor exercises as often as possible before and after to counteract any potential problems post-partum.

One of the main things that helped me through the pregnancy, and now three weeks into the post-partum phase, was participating in the YTI Pregnancy Yoga training course between January and March this year. In terms of physical and mental preparation, understanding the whole process and changes to come in my own body, learning about the kind of problems that pregnant women in general can experience – not least how to adapt my own and my class’s yoga practice – the course was fundamental. Every woman would benefit from taking part in the course, and especially yoga teachers who need to understand how to help pregnant women to move, breathe and cope throughout pregnancy, labour and delivery, and what comes after.

I really understand now the whole thing about emphasizing plenty of cushions (for sore bums!); about being super conscientious of the softening of the pelvis in every move; and the superpower of being present in the moment – aided by deep breathing (pranayama) and meditation, along with relaxation (savasana). You don't really understand it (as I found) until it happens to you, as is the case with so many things - the classic learning by doing. But in having completed the pregnancy yoga course in my own first trimester, I had the benefit of learning from the years of experience and insight of the course leader Trish Malone and participating midwife Aileen Murphy to guide me at every stage. And pregnancy is very much an experience that changes as you go through the trimesters so you need to be aware of how your abilities change in response to your physical and mental changes over 40 weeks and more.

Never under-estimate the need and the power
of relaxation....

From about week 35, I really started to prepare myself for labour and delivery. The first stage of labour (effacement and dilation of the cervix) is about pain management and that is where breathing and relaxation coupled with a few valuable poses come in. The second stage – the actual delivery - is less about pain and more about effective pushing. As for the first stage and the contractions – wow, such pain I have never experienced before, but all positive of course. It started in earnest on a Thursday morning and by lunchtime I thought we were in well-established labour - but no! I was only 1cm dilated when I landed in Mullingar Regional Hospital at 4pm - but the cervix was completely effaced and they kept me in. We sat in a room and waited, and waited and then walked outside to the shop (probably weren’t meant to - but I knew they wouldn’t kick us out) - the walking was good and helped me feel like I was keeping the whole process moving.

From about 10pm the crippling back pain began and we realised labour was only then well established even though I had thought the pain couldn’t get any worse. The baby had started to turn her head for some unknown reason and while she had been perfectly poised for delivery for at least 5 weeks previous, this turning resulted in serious lower back pain. I couldn't walk. The midwife was 100% supportive in helping me with a natural birth as much as possible and suggested a hot bath. I actually couldn’t get into it with the pain and ended up heaped on the ground beside it instead. The best position I found for this phase was kneeling on the floor over the birthing ball, with my husband putting direct pressure on the lower (very lower) back pain area. It was difficult to keep the breathing going but the midwife was great in reminding me - she wasn’t taking any nonsense and just kept saying Breathe Catherine breathe. You really need to hear it as opposed to relying on yourself to do it when you're in that kind of pain, and you need someone to be firm and authoritative – so bear that in mind when you’re preparing with your birthing partner.

I managed to get sick at this point and it was then that I reluctantly agreed to take pethidine, as I was still only 2cm dilated by 10pm. The pethidine didn’t take the pain away entirely but it softened the blow. That was when the magic started and because I was more relaxed, I went from 2cm to 8cm by midnight. Once we got installed in the labour ward I was given a small dose of sintocin to progress the last few cms, and I was making the most of the gas and air. When the time came for pushing, the pressure was unbelievable as the baby worked her way down - it was five contractions and three pushes with each and she was out. I did have to have an episiotomy at the last minute, but I didn’t feel it. It didn't frighten me at the time and I just went with it.

After the delivery early Friday morning, I didn’t sleep really until Saturday - home by Sunday, and since then every day is a learning curve. The stitches were very sore in the first week but daily baths with tea-tree oil and a strict policy of taking it easy helped me through. Now at nearly three weeks I can take a short walk but I realize that I must take the time to let my body recover so as not to hinder its long-term recovery. I am limiting myself to relaxation, breathing and meditation for another three weeks and no rushing back to headstands or ambitious poses that I might think I can get back into, but why would you stretch your body when it is still in self-healing mode?

In other aspects, the breathing helps for the initial stinging pain as herself latches on to a tender breast in the first weeks, and those difficult first bowel movements when you realise that sometimes going to the loo can be far worse than labour and delivery - it’s probably the thoughts mixed with the physical so best to think happy thoughts on the loo!

Having shared our experiences during the YTI Pregnancy Yoga course, and now having experienced the whole thing first hand, it is more apparent to me that every person has a different experience of pregnancy and labour and that really the mental preparation (relaxation, breathing and meditation aids) is probably as important if not more important that the asanas in the pregnancy yoga classes. Overall I found the following worked for me - regular walking at all phases of the pregnancy; daily breathing and meditation (about 20-30mins) and at least 15-20mins asanas - either while gardening or outside or a dedicated indoor session, which wasn't always feasible time-wise or physically. I was basically chopping the tops off the spuds and working in the garden up until the day before labour and I had plenty of strength in my legs, arms and mind - enough to go the distance and enough to go beyond that if necessary. I found the contractions during effacement and dilation of the cervix the most difficult – keep up the breathing and the asanas to maintain your mental and physical strength – endurance is necessary, while the pushing was easy enough (if there was an easy) and I put this down to squatting from the beginning to the end (I was deep squatting up until 36 weeks).

And the prize for all this pregnancy yoga and preparation and investment? Well, I just have to look at Alannah Marie to know that it was all worth it and that I’d do it all again in a heart beat. And I look forward to sharing the experience and helping other pregnant women on their journey through my own pregnancy yoga classes.

Catherine Wilkie is an ecologist based in the midlands, working to restore and rehabilitate degraded wetland, peatland and woodland habitats, both in Ireland and also within the global context. She completed her Sivananda TTC in 2008 and took part in the YTI Yoga pregnancy course in 2013, inspired by her own pregnancy. She loves to write, stand on her head, walk in the woods with new arrival Alannah, and spend time with her husband and their dog Holly in their kitchen garden. She writes about all these things in her blog www.hcottage.blogspot.ie 

Life's Expectations

Summer's-end bouquet

This is a post that's being brewing for a while - I guess you could say almost nine months but in truth it goes back a little bit further than that. I think that for any woman, the moment that the switch goes in her brain and she accepts that she just might be ready to start thinking about being pregnant, having a baby, starting a family - all those commonly used expressions to describe an event so utterly life changing and gob-smacking - that everything changes. Life certainly doesn't appear the same anyway - of course that's despite nothing having changed around us, but the change in our minds. 

When I was a zoology and botany student back in the 1990s, most of my reading was Lovelock, Darwin, Dawkins, Huxley and the array of evolutionary thinkers that really crystallised our place in this world for me. The science is fascinating and still unfolding and revealing awesome detail as to the workings of our universe, the origins of life on our planet and the possibilities of life in other galaxies within our vast universe. And I accepted the thinking behind the selfish gene, the urge to leave our genes after us, the finding of the right partner etc etc. and that it wasn't necessary really to do that to have a fulfilled life. There is so much to learn and discover as it is. 

Of course all that science and rationale goes completely out the window when you fall truly madly deeply for a sexy man that basically sets you in a spin, and you give in to the human condition and suddenly you start wanting to have a house, home, ten babies (only exaggerating) and a small farm in an idyllic Waltons-esque manner on a hillside somewhere where everyone is blissfully happy together - no stress and no driving crazy hours to deal with awkward people (you know they're out there!). 

And so, given that the puppy that became Holly has survived three years with us and - despite her own issues in relation to never ever having enough food and always wanting to be in clear sight of us - she seems to be relatively happy and balanced, it was time to start thinking about getting real about having our own babies. Ten is a big number after all and even one would certainly take some time :)

And we did - start thinking about it that is and getting our heads around it - and then we just decided there is never a right time and we should just shut up and went for it. 

Holly and 'bump' - chilling

That's when you realise that it's all a little bit more complicated than just deciding yourself, and everything just happening as you would have it in your own mind. And why shouldn't it? Well, I guess sometimes we are too used to everything happening as it should - like water in the tap everyday, food on shelves in a supermarket and power at the switch of a button - it's all so easy and so controllable really, if even we don't particularly appreciate it for what it is. 

And so as we arrive at the near eve of labour and delivery of the tiny baby girl still growing and wriggling inside me, the past year seems like a dream. 

In June 2012, after a hectic month of traveling and conferences, we found out we were pregnant. I say we, because obviously it it a team effort ;) That was a very exciting time for us. We got as far as the stage when I could feel myself stretching and growing to accommodate this tiny person inside me, and nearly to the point of sharing our news with the rest of the world. But it wasn't to be. At 16 weeks, we lost our little baby 'in the making'. In medical speak they call it a miscarriage. 

I pause here because, no matter how strong you are, how able you are to accept and reason with the loss, the sadness and the memory of what followed is the most difficult I have ever had to bear in my life so far. Fortune and the timing found us surrounded by family in a beautiful place for a couple of weeks immediately after, and in truth it was the kindness of others - parents, brothers, sisters, faraway friends at the end of the phone and amazing nursing staff - that softened the sharp reality of the loss. That little baby turned out to be a girl, and she was delivered on September 13th - her tiny body is buried with my grandparents in a nearby village. We called her Anna, after my godmother and aunt whose memory is an inspiration to me, though she died when I was only aged four years old. And Baby Anna  won't be forgotten, for all the best reasons in the world - like realising how precious life is, how vulnerable we are and what a gift to be able to talk about it and experience every precious breath of it. 

Three months later we came to the shortest day of the year and while it was the shortest, it certainly brought it's own adventure. We were lucky, we had left it to fate and weren't expecting things to happen so fast, but they did. I put it down to all those yogic contortions in Austria, but himself might have other ideas ;) Anyway, to cut a long story short - the test was positive and it was a merry - though just a bit anxious - christmas!

I didn't feel any different for the first week or so, but once I passed week 6 - well, that was when the same nausea returned, as before. From week 6 to around week 15, there was no great pleasure in food. Or anything really - I was just tired and probably a lot anxious despite being positive and ready to accept whatever might happen. The visit to the GP at week 16 was the most worrying, but the heartbeat was there - not like before, and there were signs of  a new person growing inside of me and no reason to expect anything other than good things to come. 

After that, it was fairly uneventful - I didn't start to 'show' until at least 26-28 weeks and we could continue blissfully incognito with a pregnancy that seemed so smooth and carefree, that it seemed unfair to reveal it to the wider world. 

Flash forward to the middle of August and we're on the final countdown. The last few weeks have been challenging - no headstands or shoulder-stands since about week 36, but you really are glad for gentle twists and stretches, and breathing and meditation to calm the mind and body. And so, restricted movement - though a problem to the ego - is really not a problem at all. Heartburn and an assortment of gastric symphonies are my daily companions - ladies, need I say more? And a pressure that bears down on heretofore unappreciated pelvic muscles that can be totally debilitating at its worst. 

Pregnancy means that pretty much your body is teeming in a hormone called relaxin, which basically relaxes every muscle in your body in time for the main event - hence the food coming back up and unfortunate 'accidents' when one sneezes, coughs or laughs. It is certainly not a glamorous time for a woman. And I think it's something that is experienced differently for every woman. Again I've been incredibly lucky - no swelling, can still walk, can still sleep, no gestational diabetes or major emotional breakdowns. 

Despite all of these challenging side effects - the journey is truly is amazing nonetheless - despite the restricted movement, the intestinal challenges, the headaches, the tiredness and the waking up four times in the night to pee - it's absolutely amazing. Your body does it all on its own - you just have to feed it the right stuff and of course avoid the bad stuff. No training required, no diploma or certification necessary - simply an absolute wonder and brilliance of nature. And each one of us started out that way - an embryo dividing rapidly into placenta and person, then body parts, towards a self-sustaining system that once successfully delivered can live for over a hundred years. Wow. Something that is so everyday we might take it for granted. But after the experience of the last year, we certainly don't. 

And it will be a wonder of nature, especially once we break the pain barriers of labour and delivery for the first time in the next few weeks. To be honest - I can't really think beyond that phase - even though I know, and I've been told, and we've been warned on every turn that life will never be the same again. But, after over a year of ups and downs, happy and sad moments, and sudden endings and unexpected beginnings, I think we're ready for that. 

Just a few things to do in the garden before all that of course - peas podded and frozen, beetroot mashed into another amazing beetroot chocolate cake, early spuds almost gone and peppers, tomatoes and sweetcorn yet to be feasted on. Still plenty to look forward to....

Time to stop and smell the roses

Summer pink - Handel rose..

It's Friday again - funny how it keeps coming round again, and again, and again....but the name of this day lingers on the mind, it settles in deeper and it releases those magical endorphins in the brain that course through the body to make each one of our component cells - from tired toes to limp limbs - tingle. Friday. Well, it does for me anyhow ;) It's the day when energy seems so low at about 2pm, and then you find yourself at the end of the routine working day and then unexpectedly, you're released from some (only a small some) of your responsibilities for two whole days. Two whole days. Days not to be ruined thinking on the past week too much, and never, ever, ever let it be said you ruined a perfectly good Sunday evening by dreading the thoughts of the chilly Monday morning. No! These two days are to be savoured - and these two days begin with the word Friday ;)

Of course, like any normal Friday, I immediately kicked into action and instead of winding down, it all started to wind up. Quel suprise! It started with a blissfully cool and green walk in the woods - far from tarred roads and artificial surfaces. We had to trip our way over roots and branches and brambles, and bare the soft brown, leaf strewn path as we wound our way through the wise silence of the oak woods. The light that flickered through the tall canopy of leaves was like a stream of golden kisses for those of us who chose to hide from the glare of the bared summer sun (no clouds, no rain....I know!!!).

Staying cool

After Holly's woodland adventure walk it was back to the garden. Now, in terms of yoga postures there were squats, cat, forward bends, backward bends, rotations, balancing acts, warrior I and II, mindful breathing and mountain pose - but to mention the obvious few. All these were manifested while graceful hoeing manoeuvres were conducted to the orchestra of potatoes, beans, peas and salads that all played their symphonic masterpieces this evening. All this earthly music while weeding the drills, thinning the seedlings, tidying the overgrowth and harvesting the never ending red torrent of strawberries that cascade down long green stems amongst endless adventurous runners. 

I'm well squatted now and even Holly seemed to be telling me to stop as the sun dipped behind the tree giants that guard the kingdom of Charleville. And that is the best time to smell to roses - the evening air, the setting sun, the scent of soft pink roses drifting over the host of garden compatriots that were readying themselves for the short night ahead - divine. And then there is the feast of colour to nurture the over-stretched mind of the previous five days - starflower blue, rose red, geranium cerise, golden nasturtium, blushing rambler rose and green green green of promising peas and bountiful beans...sweet. And it's only just begun. Have a great weekend....and wherever you are, be kind to yourself and stop and smell the roses - make sure it's a pink one though, those red ones are always a let down - all that drama has a cost. Don't be fooled :)

Summer in the garden - nearly 10pm....
remember this in December!

Jam, Set and Match

It's a jam thing 

It's all about strawberries these days in the Holly Cottage. We've been watching them since February, minding them, more watching them, feeding and netting them, and so on it goes in the gardening way. And now that it's all happening, we're finding it hard to keep up with the harvest and keep ahead of the host of centipedes, slugs, ants and blackbirds that have suddenly appeared in a feasting army to unleash the magical strawberry elixir. Even Holly has been caught raiding the strawberry beds in previous years - she's being extra good this year though, although maybe we just haven't caught her in the act yet ;) 

What to do with this bounty? Well, the obvious delight is the jam thing - the easiest thing in the world since cutting a slice of homemade brown bread or a delicious fruit scone and making a cup of tea, all the things that go so well with the sweet, sticky magic of strawberry jam. And all while one is partaking in the entertainment that is Wimbledon and tennis - they take their strawberries straight - no mixers - with cream there (hence the Jam, Set and Match spin). Take a kilo of fruit, a kilo of sugar, all in the pot - melt the sugar down on gentle heat, then bring it all up to a boil and simmer until setting point is reached. The setting point can be a make or break moment, but if you really get it wrong - how bad? Strawberry sauce in a jar to pour over vanilla ice cream in the depths of winter - mmmm. If you have a lot of rhubarb to play with, like we do, then make a half and half batch of both fruits - its a really nice combination especially for those nervous of the rhubarb variety. 

dreamy, creamy, cheesy, strawberryyyyy....

The other creation of the day is a strawberry cheesecake, based on a blueberry cheesecake recipe by Rachel Allen. Take your favourite biscuit base - digestive and a melted butter was easiest for us this evening. Top this with freshly picked strawberries and leave to chill while you making the topping. For the top - now this is a half of the recipe since it's just the two of us - 225g cream cheese, 75g castor sugar, 2 eggs, half teasp vanilla essence all whizzed up together until smooth and creamy, mmmm ;) Pour this sweet and cheesy creamy promise over the biscuit and strawberry base and into the oven at 180deg for 40mins.....the result is waiting for us as we speak! It always shocks me really when I see the price of a slice of cake in shops and cafes especially when they taste so good straight from your own oven, and I guess what you're really paying for is service and atmosphere. Take my favourite cafe of the moment in Dublin city - Keoghs on Trinity Street - there's always a buzz of people coming in and grabbing coffee to go or one of their amazing selection of scones (brown raisin and cinnamon, and vanilla and pear deliciousness). And there is always a strange and eclectic mix - from the Samuel Beckett quotes on the wall to the cross section of native Dubs having their morning sugar fix. I like to think my odd splurge there is helping a bit to sustain places like that, however small that might be, but these small shops are the remedy to the one size fits all type of franchise cafes that seem to be squeezing out the last of the  brave, individualistic types. 

Shades of summer 

Having said all that and nodding my head to the buzz and vibrancy of an early morning coffee on the streets of Dublin city, there is such enormous satisfaction in being the master or mistress of your own sweet selection, and savouring each mouthful as you watch the sun gradually descend in the sky on the last day of June. Especially in the knowledge of: i. passing your practical yoga class exam the day before (phew), ii. having all the rooms in the Holly Cottage painted, iii. having all the outside windows and sills cleaned down and painted, iv. all the rubbish and clutter built up over the longest winter cleared, v . the array of colours in the garden - purple seems to feature a lot! vi. the first potatoes of the season dug and officially the best tasting spuds ever (again) and blissfully clear of blight (yay) and vii. it's lovely calm Sunday evening again ;) 

It's the simple pleasures that we bask in here...and oh yes, there is that deliciously creamy, dreamy, homemade strawberry cheesecake waiting to be to cut into as well.......

Going Back to (Yoga) School

Seeing the mountains for the trees

It’s been five years since I trained to be a yoga teacher. Five years of living, loving, and getting on with the rich and challenging path that my life has taken. But no yoga teaching, not yet ;) Plenty of personal practice but I never had the time to give to a class – too busy with the day job, meeting the love of my life, traveling the world and tending to the needs of a tiny cocker spaniel and her Holly Cottage garden. It’s time to change that, time to add teaching to the mix and give something back (by the way - the more I say I'm going to, the more I'll have to do it!).

As the car approached the Sivananda ashram at the foothills of the Austrian Alps, waves of delight and joy washed over as my eyes reminded my brain of those mountains that had become friend to me during the month long TTC.  Time kicked in reverse as the car pulled up to the door and the events of the last five years melted away from me like the snows that melt away from the mountains that surround the ashram each spring.  I was back at the beginning, again.

Of course the underlying reason for my return was purely academic - to refresh my teaching skills and get ready to start teaching when I got home to Ireland. But something deeper was happening, and would continue to happen during my week there. The magic of the mountains, the magic of the ashram, that healing and nourishment, that feeling of coming home – that retreat from regular living, and the promise of pure uninterrupted yogic living for at least seven days...interesting ;)

Some of the teachers from the TTC (Teacher Training Course) were still there. Their voices were the same but their encouragement was stronger – breathe into it. In that week, I became a noble Scorpion and a determined Locust – something that five years of home practice could never achieve.  

And I remembered the very first time I walked into a yoga class on a dark winter night in the west of Ireland ten years ago - those first introductions to spinal twists and backward bends and the peace that comes with steady pose and concentration.

And I remembered the firm and gentle encouragement of my very first yoga teacher.

Yoga has given me inner strength I didn’t know I had until I was tested, and really tested again. And yet I know that I am so near the beginning.  Some mornings as I head into the world, I am filled with excitement of the prospect of a new day – what it will bring and where it will end.  For at the end of everyday and every experience, we are changed and we are new. And so everyday we begin again, somewhat different yet always new.

And so I am ready to begin, again ;) Student come teacher, come student again. 

http://www.sivananda.at/en/index.html